I Don't Get It
by RespectNinjaUnicornsAuthoritah
Summary: A random story, thought up by me and MagicNinjaUnicorn at 12:00 am... So, it's just some story that makes no sense, whatsoever. But, it includes Style, Creek, Bunny, Bendy, Tyde, CartCart, and temporarily, Special K and Cartters. Enjoy reading what comes from our minds! RE-UPLOADED from RESPECTMYATHORITAH'S account :D
1. Pudding

**A/N-**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- Hey! This is both RESPECTMYATHORITAH and MagicNinjaUnicorn!**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- So its like almost midnight right now, and I just randomly said "Hey lets write a fanfiction!"**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- So, this is just random South Park pairings. At least, it has SOMETHING to do with that. We're making this up as we go along.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- We'll probably continue it when we're less exhausted and RESPECTMYATHORITAH is less drunk off of juice, but anything we post now will just be...random. Because we're just two South Park yaoi obsessed fangirls who are bored.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- Except I actually watch South Park more often.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- My parents are strict assholes, okay?! I don't want to talk about it!**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- Whatever. On with the story...**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- Its really terrible...**

**XXX**

**Kyle's POV**

"I'm bored." I whined in a very Cartman-like voice.

"Shut up and eat your pudding." Stan instructed. Not wanting to make him feel bad, I took a spoon off the table and grabbed a cup of pudding. He had worked hard to put together this pudding party, and I wasn't going to be the one to rain on his parade. And yeah, it's such an awesome party when it's just me and him.

Woo hoo, so fun.

"So is anybody else ever going to show up?" I asked. I really didn't want to be the only person here. It was a lot of fucking pudding to eat!

"I don't know, I forgot who I invited!"

Okay, I'm gonna stop telling the story at this point. But only for a second, though. If you're gonna invite some people to a pudding party, it would be awesome if you did 3 things-

1- Know who you're inviting.  
2- Don't invite Cartman. He'll eat all the damn pudding.  
3- Umm... Yeah, just make it 2 things.

"Well, we know that Butters and Cartman won't show up since they're on a date or hunting Jewpacabras or something, Kenny is probably hanging out with Timmy," he stopped to take a breath before continuing, "Craig, Clyde, Token, and Tweek don't really like us, and Wendy is throwing a huge sleepover party with like every girl in our grade, so none of them are coming either."

"Do you remember why Kenny started dating Timmy? Wasn't it to make Butters jealous, or something?" I DO remember Kenny saying something about that. And really, I just wanted to talk instead of awkwardly standing here eating pudding.

"Yeah, but all that did was get Butters to date Cartman."

"FAIL!"

"I agree, but it was most likely to happen sooner or later."

"Hmm... It's possible you got a point there." In my mind, I was still disagreeing with Stan. I just really wanted to talk.

Suddenly there was a loud bang from the other room, and two pairs of running footsteps.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PUDDING?!" We heard Cartman shout as he ran into the room, pulling Butters by his arm.

No comment. "There's a FRONT door over there..." Stan pointed to the door that didn't exist in Cartman's mind.

"I said, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GODDAMN PUDDING?" Cartman repeated.

"Its on the table, dumbass." I said, pointing to the table.

I don't think Butters was amused. He was just staring out the window with no expression.

Okay, so while Cartman was attempting to shove the entire pudding bowl down his throat, Butters was spacing out.

He finally snapped out of it. "C-can I have some?"

"It's a pudding party. What do you think?" Stan waved his hand towards the table.

I mocked the whole hand-wave thing. "Because normal people do this."

"Shut up." He smiled.

"Make me." I smirked.

Without warning, he took a spoonful of pudding and shoved it into my mouth, effectively shutting me up.

I tackled him onto the couch and the two of us wrestled around for a while.

"Fags," Cartman mumbled, spitting pudding on the floor.

"Coming from you..." Stan rolled his eyes.

I don't think Butters was enjoying the wrestling around. Which is why I pushed Stan off the couch and walked towards the table.

"This is really boring," I declared. "PUDDING FIGHT!"

"No no, wait Kahl, wait! I didn't finish-" but before Cartman could finish talking, I took a handful of chocolate pudding and threw it in his face.

"I thought we were gonna eat this, but okay..." Stan got another spoonful of pudding and pulled the top to try and fling it at me.

Luckily, I dodged it. But guess who was behind me?

Butters.

He grabbed his shirt and stared at the huge stain.

Okay, I don't want to be responsible for Butters' shirt. I turned around and tried to clean it. "Look, it's not noticeable!" I said, just using the napkin to spread the pudding around, making the stain more noticeable.

Oh well.

"A-are you sure?" he asked.

"Um...yeah." I lied, putting on my most fake smile. I looked over at fatass, who was obviously trying not to laugh.

"Dude, you've been dating Butters for what, five months, and you can't even see him be upset without laughing?" Stan asked disbelievingly. He got another spoonful and sent it flying towards Cartman.

Once it hit his shirt, it looked like his stomach did some kind of RIPPLE. Like when you throw something into a still lake... I think I'm gonna throw up...

"Ey! I just cleaned this shirt!" Cartman exclaimed.

"Tough shit, fatass." Stan smirked.

"You totally deserved that." I said.

Cartman looked towards Butters, obviously expecting him to defend him like always, but Butters simply made his way emotionlessly to the door. "Bye." he said, walking out.

"Fuck you guys." Cartman snapped, storming out after Butters.

I stared at the room. So, we started out with a clean room. Now I see pudding everywhere.

"Good thing it's not my house." I finally said, with a smug smile on my face.

"Fuck you dude." Stan responded. "Now help me clean up. Do I need to remind you that you started this? We need this place clean before my parents come home in a few hours."

**XXX**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- i wonder how many times we used the word pudding in this one chapter alone...**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- I wonder how many damn times you hit the fucking power cord, shutting down my computer.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- Like 3. We started writing this at 12:05, and its 1:23 right now. AM. okay, RESPECTMYATHORITAH just left the room for some reason. There was one moment in particular while writing this, when she wrote "pussing" instead of pudding, and we laughed so hard we almost woke up her family.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- My face was bleeding. And I wonder how many times we had terrible spelling moments...**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- Well, it ****_is _****almost 1;30 am...anyways, so consider this our temporary collab account...we're making the account at some point today, but we have to wait that 3 fucking days before uploading a story or whatever, and we want to update this now!  
So yeah...the future chapters will be better, mostly because we won't be writing at 1:00 am, so...yeah. Stick around. :D -peace out (p.s. RESPECTMYATHORITAH's face actually is bleeding...O.O)**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- Thanks for sharing that... And peace out peopleses! I would do a peace sign, but none of you can see me!**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- Hi its me on January 13 and I must say, yes we are alive, we're just forgetful idiots who had no internet access for a billion years.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- I'm here on the phone and bjdsabvuaygvfiauvaukh**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- She actually just said that.**


	2. That Was Kind Of All Over The Place

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- So we wrote this in November...**

**RESPECTMYATHORTAH- Based on my Black Friday experience...**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- And couldn't type/update it until now...so...Black Friday chapter in January.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- Enjooooooooooooooy!**

"I can't believe you dragged me out here at midnight!" Craig grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"But they'll have really cheap waffle makers!" Clyde said, smiling.

"I'M WEARING FOOTIE PAJAMAS!" He yelled, pointing to his Superman pajamas (With a cape).

"We all are." Token pointed out.

Suddenly, Tweek ran back to them screaming "I CAN'T FIND TH-THE COFFEE!"

"It's right behind you." Token said.

Tweek turned around and saw a coffee stand a few feet away, that either randomly appeared by magic or they were too tired and stupid to notice it before.

"COFFEE!" Tweek screamed, running towards it like a crazy maniac. "I NEED MONEY!" he called back to them when he reached it, so Craig, being the best boyfriend ever, went over to him.

"Okay, I have a one dollar bill, and a five dollar bill." Craig announced, pulling out his money.

"Can I eat the five?" The coffee guy asked in a completely serious tone.

Craig and Tweek gave the guy a long look before Craig slowly handed it to him saying "Ooookay, then."

"Awesome!" The coffee guy exclaimed, putting the bill on the counter. "CHOCOLATE!" he said with a Spanish accent, doing a weird dance. Then, before their very eyes, the money turned into a chocolate bar.

"What the fuck?" Craig wondered to himself.

Coffee Guy raised the chocolate up to his lips, ready to eat, and then looked down and screeched "NO! THIS IS POSSESSED BY SLENDER LIZARD!" and threw it into the parking lot.

The boys backed away slowly, neither of them saying a word.

"I never got my coffee," Tweek said glumly. Then he grinned and said "Wait! I k-keep emergency coffee in my bra!" He reached into his coffee-patterned footie pajamas and pulled out a thermos.

There was a long pause until Token said "You wear a bra?"

"So _that's_ why he looked fatter than usual!" Clyde exclaimed.

Craig smiled like a creepy pervert.

"Get your mind out of the gutter!" Clyde scolded.

* * *

Finally the doors opened and a mob of people tried to kill each other to get inside.

"OKAY!" Clyde yelled over the noise. "The waffle makers should be over-OMG GOURMET LOLLIPOPS!" then he ran excitedly towards the checkout to admire the lollipops. "They're on sale for two cents!"

"Too bad you don't have that," Craig smirked as the other three walked past him.

"What?" Clyde paused for a moment, before he understood. "Hey!" he protested, running after them.

* * *

He finally caught up with them at the pastry shop. "C-can I have a mocha toffee bar?" Tweek asked them.

"Why are you asking?" Token wondered.

"Cause I don't have any money," Tweek admitted, lowering his head in shame.

"Don't look at me," Craig said. "Creepy coffee guy ate all the money I had."

"Don't you have emergency money in your bra?" Clyde smirked.

Tweek glared at him while Craig smiled like a creepy pervert again.

"Wait weren't we just in WalMart?" Token asked. Nobody answered, so he just said "Here, go buy us all a mocha whatever bar." he said, handing Tweek money.

"Okay!" he responded happily, skipping off to the shop.

Five minutes later he returned to the group with four mocha toffee bars in hand, and handed them out.

When Tweek bit in to his, some clear goopy stuff oozed out. "I think it has a cold. Can I have a tissue?"

Token, Craig, and Clyde gave their toffee bars a disgusted look and tossed them in the trash.

"Lets go find the waffle makers." Clyde said. He turned to go searching for them and then exclaimed "OMG ONE DIRECTION!" he then ran towards 5 cutouts of Harry, Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Louis.

"Did you _really _just say OMG?" Craig raised an eyebrow, following him.

"MOVE!" A random girl screamed, pushing them away from the Harry cutout they were in front of, and trying to steal it.

It was basically a mob of teenage girl all trying to steal the cutouts except for Niall.

"Why doesn't anybody love Niall?" Clyde asked, giving the cutout a small hug.

"Y-yeah." Tweek agreed, joining him.

"Whatever." Token shrugged, also hugging the cutout.

"You guys are morons." Craig rolled his eyes.

"Take a picture of us!" Clyde exclaimed.

"No." Craig denied, flipping them off and walking away.

* * *

When they finally reached the isle with the waffle makers, there was only one left, and it was in the arms of a little boy.

"Hey! That kid has the last one!" Clyde exclaimed. He stomped over to the kid and said "Give it to me!"

"No!" the kid yelled, pulling the waffle maker towards him.

"Give it!" Clyde repeated, grabbing the box and yanking it towards himself.

"NO!

"GIVE IT!"

"NO!"

GIVE IT TO ME, DAMMIT!"

"Why do I hang out with you guys?" Token wondered, facepalming as he watched Clyde have a waffle maker tug of war with a seven year old, and Tweek and Craig pumping their fists and chanting "Go, go, go!", then they stopped and made out.

Eventually, Clyde got bored of the tug of war, and punched the kid in the face. "MOMMY!" the kid cried, giving up the waffle maker to Clyde and running away.

Clyde turned and saw Token still facepalming, and Tweek and Craig still rolling on the floor making out.

Shrugging, he raised the box over his head and exclaimed "VICTORY!"

Then the kid ran back, kicked Clyde in the leg, and ran away again, causing Clyde to drop to the floor and cry "Why? Why does everything want to hurt Clyde?"

* * *

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- So uh, in our defense, we wrote this at 9:00 at night, after a LONG day for both of us, and then edited at 2:00 am...**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- Yeah, we edit things when we're so oblivious to the world, and so tired.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- But don't worry about slow updates because we have like 20 ideas.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- So the next chapter is about...well lets say that there's roller skating and Swedish moments.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- She means sweetish.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- We'll see.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- I have no idea what she's talking about. Anyways, please don't question anything, because we can't answer. Seriously, we have no idea what's going on.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- I'm tired and drinking apple juice. Bye.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- BYEEEEEEE! :D**


	3. Swedish Roller Skating

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- We also started this chapter a while ago.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- Back in the ancient times of the year 2012.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- And it somehow survived (along with everything else in the world) to 2013.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- So uh...read. And make sure you read the bottom authors note, because its important.**

"Lets sit here!" Kyle exclaimed, running to a table. "No, lets sit here!" he ran to another table. "No," he turned around. "Lets sit-"

"Kyle, I'm going to be the only one sitting." Stan reminded him.

"Why don't you come with us. Or we could skate together...alone." He raised his eyebrow and grinned like a pervert.

"No, I have homework to do." Stan said, completely ignoring the comment's true meaning.

Everyone ran away except Kyle.

"Seriously, go. I have to finish this homework Mr. Garrison bites my head off." Stan said, waving towards the skate rental booth.

"Hmm." Kyle thought for a moment. "That would make it hard to kiss you. BYE!" and with that, he ran off towards the others.

* * *

"What size shoe do you need?" the skate rental guy asked.

"Um..." Kenny honestly didn't know. Wow, this took bad memories to a new level.

"Timmah!" Timmy reminded him.

"Oh thanks! An eight." Kenny told the skate guy.

"Dumbass." Cartman laughed.

"TIMMAH!" Timmy defended Kenny.

"Thank you Timmy." Kenny smirked.

"What the fuck did he even say?"

"He said fuck you." Kenny translated.

"Well fuck you too, Timmah!" Cartman said, and then he turned and waddled away.

"And then he waddled away, waddle waddle." Kenny sang under his breath, causing both himself and Timmy to laugh uncontrollably.

* * *

"I'm not sure skating is a good idea without skates." Butters said, pointing to his shoes.

"Don't be such a turkey." Cartman rolled his eyes.

"Don't be such a dutch bag." Kyle said, skating up to them.

"Don't be such a Jew!" Cartman challenged.

"Don't be such a fatass!"

"Don't be such a...gablfrabl!"

"Don't be such a- wait, that doesn't even make sense!"

"Doin' stuff!" Kenny exclaimed, skating past them pushing Timmy's wheelchair.

"TIMMAH!" Timmy yelled.

Kyle, Cartman and Butters stared after them for a minute before Kyle shook his head and said "Why don't you two just have a sweetish moment?"

"Okay." Cartman shrugged, seeming uncharacteristically agreeable to Kyle's order. He then turned to Butters and said. "Asnan mans plånbok pannkaka glasögon kvartalet." With that, the two kissed all romantically and dramatically.

"Not what I meant." Kyle muttered, skating away to find Kenny.

* * *

When Kyle found Kenny, he was having an argument with the P.A guy, which somehow Kyle hadn't heard before.

"For the last time," the guy on the P.A said, sighing heavily. "You need to remove the wheelchair kid from the rink."

"THATS RACIST!" Kenny screamed, pointing an accusing finger at the ceiling, not knowing where the P.A guy actually was.

"JUST GET THE WHEELCHAIR KID OUT OF HERE!" the P.A guy screamed.

"NO, I LOVE HIM!" Kenny protested, though he purposely yelled in Butters' direction.

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE!"

"TIMMAH!"

"YEAH! YOU HEARD HIM!" Kenny yelled.

"WHAT DID HE SAY?" the P.A yelled back.

"Forget it. Lets go Timmy." Kenny grumbled, wheeling Timmy to the edge of the rink. "Actually," he said. "I'm gonna stay here. BYE!" with that, he pushed Timmy out of the rink, and hit a little kid.

"Oops. Sorry." Kenny apologized, not really sorry at all. He turned to find Kyle, who was standing right behind him. "Lets so see Stan."

"Okay." Kyle shrugged, skating out of the rink. Just as they reached the outside of the rink however, Kyle fell over.

"Are you alright?" Kenny asked looking at the clearly not okay Kyle, who was clutching his eggs.

"Aw dude, you broke your eggs. That sucks." Kenny grimaced.

"Why were there eggs in your pocket?" a random person looked at them and asked.

"Why is there a flamingo on your head?" Kyle retorted.

The guy looked up at the large pink bird nestled in his hair, and shrugged. "Because." he started to walk away, but then turned back around and said "Don't eat the muffins."

"This is gross." Kyle moaned, picking eggshells out of his pocket. "Oh well, lets go." as he stood up, he vaguely noticed a worker smiling at him evilly from the corner of the rink.

* * *

"Hey Stan," Kyle greeted him as he skated up to the table he was sitting at, alone like a loser.

"Hey Kyle. Kenny. Dude, what happened?" He asked, pointing to the yolk stains on Kyle's pants.

"What?" he looked down. "Oh, I broke my eggs."

"Aww, now we can't make molest!" Stan said disappointedly.

"What?" Kenny asked.

"I mean omelets. Stupid autocorrect!" Stan rolled his eyes.

"Oh."

"So how's roller skating going?" Stan asked.

"Oh, you know. Rolley." Kyle shrugged.

"Skatey." Kenny added.

"I can't wash my balls." Butters said, randomly appearing.

"That too." Kenny said.

"What's up Butters? Where's Cartman?" Kyle asked.

"Over there, trying to buy food without paying for it." Butters pointed to the vending machine, where Cartman was trying to open the glass covering, even though it wasn't a door.

"Dumbass." Stan snorted, writing down a few more sentences into his notebook.

"So are you done yet?" Kyle asked.

"We got here ten minutes ago." Stan reminded him.

"...and?"

"No. I'm not done."

"Oh. I'm going to skate away now." Kyle said.

As he and Kenny skated away (Butters had randomly disappeared and then randomly appeared back with Cartman), "What Makes You Beautiful" began to play.

Kyle and Kenny looked at each other excitedly and immediately began singing along...kind of.

_"Look at my face, so sweet and pure._

_They let me sing even though I have a stu-ut-er._

_We hanging tough,_

_We punch the air,_

_'Cuz like the honey badger we don't fucking ca-a-are!_

_This song was made by a gay computer,_

_We all sound high 'cuz we're nudered._

_Baby we make real hands go home and slit their wrists, _

_We are the seventh sign of the apocalypse,_

_We're running now 'cuz we don't know what water is_

_You don't know oh oh!_

_You don't know we're terrible!_

They stopped when Kyle fell again.

"Are you alright?" a creepy worker asked, bending down to examine him.

"Uh, yeah."

"Cool." the worker said. "Sup."

"Um...okay..."

"HEY! KYLE! KENNY! OOPS! SORRY LITTLE KID! HEY! GUYS!" a voice screamed from the other side of the building.

The boys looked to see Stan skating towards them. "Hey Stan!" Kyle said. When he reached them. "I thought you had homework to do?"

"SCREW SCHOOL!" Stan yelled throwing his hands up in the air. "Mr. Garrison can eat my head, I don't even care!"

"But I'd miss your lips!" Kyle said.

"My eyes are up here!" Stan screamed.

"And the rest of your face." Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Yay." Stan grinned, as Kyle leaned in to kiss him. But they were interrupted by Kenny.

"Hey guys, watch this!" Kenny yelled, skating away. "YOLO!" he screamed, holding up two piece signs. But, since he was talking, he wasn't paying attention to the fact that he was about to crash into a wall. "OW! SHIT!" he exclaimed as he crumpled to the floor. "GUYS! I THINK I BROKE MY FACE! BUT ITS OKAY! I'm OKAY!" just as he was reassuring them of this, however, a group of very obnoxious kids all roller skated over him.

Few things were heard from behind the clump, except for lots of shouting, and when they passed all that was left was a dead Kenny.

"You killed Kenny!"

"You bastards!"

"Now where were we?" they kissed, but as they did so, Kyle fell down for now reason, and grabbed Stan as he did. Next thing he knew, both of them were on the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, Stan saw one worker nod to another. He chose to ignore it. "Maybe we should go home..."

**READ READ READ READ READ!**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- Hope you enjoyed this, but its time for something mildly serious.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- If you're not reading this, then screw you. And you won't even seeing this, so behh.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- Our next chapter will be...interesting. And scary to some people. And it will SO. DAMN. LONG. I'm not telling you anything (seriously, did you expect me to? Come on guys, you know me better!)**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- But we will ask you-who do you want us to genderbend?**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- Go vote in the poll on our page, or if you are anonymous, leave a review with your answer to this. The choices are**

**a) Cartman**

**b) Stan**

**c) Tweek**

**d) Wendy**

**And to the special person who knows exactly what we're doing (sort of) if you're reading this-it may seem a little off, but all will make sense eventually! :D That's all, bye!**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- Oh and P.S., we really like reviews. We like favoriting and following, but reviews are AWESOME. **

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- And P.S.S, the parody used in this chapter is made by Barely Political on YouTube.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- Thanks for inspiration, Barley Political!**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- Oh, and P.S.S.S, about this chapter, this was based partly-ish on a roller skating experience, and I swear to god, those workers fucking cursed me! Every time they were around, I fell! Damn people... And that "Dutch bag" thing is IN NO WAY meant to be offensive to dutch people! We saw somebody misspell douchebag like that, and we've been saying it ever since. NO OFFENSE INTENDED!**


	4. A Very Creek Bedtime Story

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- I know we promised a cool long awesome story, but we typed this up in ten minutes and couldn't resist posting and**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- The long chapter will be next**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- We're loopy and potato**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- I'm high off something from my moms car...HIGH MOOMMY!**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- :D**

Once upon a Creeky time there was Creek and potatota and and and and and and and and

AND FACE!

And the blonde Creek dude liked to eat fingers and once upon a seashell

THE FACE.

Hey lets all do the worms said Craig

No lets do the Fish! yelled Tweek

And then they did the Sim woohoo all the way home.

"Wait it didn't save!" said Tweek

"OH FRIDGE!" exclaimed Craig

HAPPY DREAMING!

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- I'm gonna go play moomins now!**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- I DON'T EVEN FUCKING CHEESE! :D**

**(If you'd like an explanation, please feel free to ask. We actually sort of have one. French fries. ;))**


	5. Locker Room (With not-so special guest)

**READ THIS FUCKERS!**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- I notice that this is NOT the long, cool, chapter we promised.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- Because we're bad people.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- But we had a special guest! Meet my cousin, Alfonso! (That's not her real name)**

**Alfonso- Hi! I didn't really help a lot on this. I'm busy.**

**RESPECTMYATHORITAH- At being lazy.**

**MagicNinjaUnicorn- This doesn't make any sense, so enjoy! By the way, we started writing this at 11:30, and it's 2:00 now.**

"So what did you buy me for Valentines day?" Cartman asked all sweetly, smiling unnaturally innocent at Butters.

Butters looked shocked. "Well..."

Cartman's face changed in a split second. "You didn't buy meh fucking present yet?"

"Dude, its January!" Kyle said, turning to face him.

"Jesus Kahl, put a shirt on!" Cartman yelled.

"Its a locker room! What am I supposed to do?" Kyle asked.

"YOUR MOM!" Cartman screamed. They both paused for a moment and then Cartman exclaimed "WAIT, NO! NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

"HOLY CHIZ!" Kyle yelled, backing away.

"Harry Styles is pregnant." Clyde said, turning around.

"Who's the dad?" Kyle asked.

"Simon Cowell!" Stan answered happily.

There was silence.

"WAIT, I DID NOT MEAN THAT!" he protested.

"DUDE, NO!" Kyle yelled.

"Exactly!" Tweek agreed. "Everybody knows that Zayn is the dad!"

"Hold the fuck up," Kenny interrupted, walking out of a locker. "Clearly, Louis is the father."

"WHAT?" Tweek protested. "Nononononononononono! BLASPHEMY!"

"Larry Stylinson for the WIN!" Kenny screamed.

"ZARRY RULES OVER ALL!" Tweek argued.

"Bitches please, we all know Narry is the best!" Clyde said, stepping between them.

"WHAT THE SHIT?" Tweek and Kenny demanded simultaneously.

"ZAYN AND HARRY ARE MARRIED!" Tweek insisted

"NO THEY'RE FUCKING NOT!" Clyde argued back. "NIALL AND HARRY ARE!"

"...then Harry's a slut?" Kyle asked.

Everybody seemed to agree on that, and the shipping war ended.

"I like eggs." Craig stated.

"I used to have eggs..." Kyle said sadly.

They all stared at each other in oddness.

"PEOPLE LIKE PEOPLE!" Some random person said, barging in.

"Who the hell are you?" Craig asked.

The random person looked around. "Wait, this isn't my gym class!" He turned around to leave, but turned back and said "AIR TASTES GOOD and so does foot parrot shit. WELL BAHHHH!"

"He's right. Foot parrot shit is amazing." Kyle nodded.

"You mean amaZAYN." Tweek grinned stupidly.

"You're not smart." Kyle complained.

So Craig punched him in the face. "You are cute." he said to Tweek.

Then Stan punched Craig in the face. "YOU ARE A BARNABOOB!" he yelled. After he made sure Craig was broken, he bent down to help Kyle.

"DON'T BE A HEKPO!" Tweek screamed. "I DO NOT WEAR A BRA!" and with that he punched Stan in the face.

"OW!" he fell in slow motion to the ground.

"How is he doing that?" Clyde whispered to Token, who shrugged.

"Maybe he's Tamaki Suoh." Token replied.

"WOOHA, I LURVE PUNCHING PEOPLE!" Kenny exclaimed joyfully, turning to punch Cartman.

"FUCK YOU KENENEH!" Cartman cried, waving his arms around.

"That's not my name!" Kenny sang. They failed to notice, however, that Creek and Style were currently in a punch war.

Here's how it happened: Craig punched Kyle, which made Stan punch Craig, which made Tweek punch Stan, which made Kyle punch Tweek, which made Craig punch Kyle, and it just went on and on.

After a few minutes, their faces were pushed into their heads, and none of them could see anything. So really, they were just running around and punching the air.

Suddenly, their mean teacher Ms. Stumpy flung open the door. "What are you little shits doing?" she demanded.

"EATING SOAP." Kenny said sarcastically.

"READ THE DIRECTIONS BEFORE YOU DO!" she ordered. She gave the fighting couples an odd look, shrugged, and left.

Token, Butters, Clyde, Cartman, and Kenny all took their time getting changed before bothering to help the others.

Token stood behind Tweek, Clyde behind Craig, Cartman behind Kyle (which could only end _so _well), and Kenny behind Stan (Butters just left-he couldn't be late to gym.). On Token's count of three, they all whacked the back of the now faceless boys' heads and hoped for the best. Sure enough, it worked, and their faces popped right back into place...completely unharmed.

"Well that's enough of the world for today." Kyle stated.

And everybody lived hoagilly ever arfta.

THE NOT END.

* * *

"That hurt. That hurt me in the face. "Stan said to Tweek."

"I'm sorry." Tweek apologized. "And I don't wear a bra."

"We know, Tweek. We know." Kenny said.

"But what about-" Clyde started to talk, but got interrupted.

"Shit cheese." Craig said. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Craig grabbed his shirt, and with a tug, he ripped off his clothes (including his pants). He spun around and walked into a shower.

"Who takes a shower BEFORE gym?" Token asked.

"Clyde, didn't you borrow my pants last week?" Stan asked.

"Yeah." Clyde said. "Why?"

"Can I have them back?"

"Sure." Clyde opened his locker, only to figure out that his pants were not in there.

"Uhh..." Clyde threw some shirts and a deodorant stick. "It's here somewhere."

"I'm waiting."

Clyde threw a couple more objects out of the locker. After there was no more items to throw, he sighed and turned around. "I lost them."

"YOU LOST THEM?!" Stan walked quickly to Clyde's locker.

"Why did you need to borrow his pants?" Kyle asked, obviously confused.

"I lost mine." Clyde admitted.

"No. I took them." Token said, holding Clyde's pants in his hand.

"Why?" Clyde asked, taking the pants.

"I like pants." Token answered.

"Token has a pants fetish!" Cartman teased.

"Shouldn't we be leaving?" Token suggested, ignoring the previous dialogue.

"To go where?" Kyle asked.

"Gym."

"We actually NEED to go?"

"I thought this period was meant for fucking around in the locker room." Craig announced from the shower.

Stan tried his best not to laugh. "You do NOT know how wrong that sounded."

Butters ran through the door. "Where were you guys?"

"Gym ended already?" Kenny asked. "That was quick."

"Oh, and-" Butters looked around the room. "Did Craig and Tweek disappear?"

"No, Craig is in the shower." Clyde pointed out. "And Tweek is..."

They looked around the room, not realizing that Tweek disappeard awhile ago.

"Where did that fucker go?" Cartman asked.

"He's in the shower with Craig." Token said.

"Oh." Clyde said.

The bell rang.

"Well." Clyde got his bookbag. "That's another zero for today."

**Next chapter will be the cool one. WE PROMISE.**


End file.
